Just like with many things in life, there are two very different schools of thought in the world as to how one should live one’s life. Karma yogis say that a life not lived for others is not worth living. Some will say that not living a life that makes you happy is not really living.
Two things about living for others:
1. To some degree it matters what we mean by living our lives for others. If we spend our entire lives as the fulfiller of another person’s whims when that person has no respect for us or themselves then we are in fact disrespecting ourselves, and not doing the other person any measurable amount of good. Just as Krishna made every effort at a peaceful resolution before the Kurukshetra War, one should only allow for so many indiscretions. As Hindus, we are not to seek gratitude, but we are not to be doormats either. People may still call the whim-fulfiller a “saint” and who knows, maybe they are right, but I tend to think not.
2. On the other side of the coin, if one spends his or her life helping those who cannot help themselves, they lift that person up and themselves. Living a life for others can be the most gratifying life possible. At that point it is not selfish to be happy in doing so, because this is expansion of the self into the Self. (1.) is Tamasic, I think, and (2.) is Sattwic.
So it is complex. But living for oneself is equally sticky. And for the same reason. One is Tamasic and one is Sattwic. You can become lazy, dependent and focused on pleasures of the flesh and call it living for yourself, or you can live a life devoted to fulfilling your personal dharma. Each of us has one in this life.
There is no big payoff, or “point” to this post. Just something to think about.
Jai Hari Aum!