Sometimes Assertiveness Looks a Lot Like An Egocentric Shit-Fit

by Aranyakananda

Coming to Hinduism one has it repeatedly put into one’s head that one must dissolve, destroy or transcend the ego, depending on who your sources are. And it is true as a general practice. But there are always times in life when one must, not become totally rajasic, but rajasic behavior may re-enter the picture of your life at any time. You may need a little rajas as a boost toward completing a karmic task, who knows? Some of the most successful people, on a worldly level, are deeply rajasic. They are focused on activity. Often it is for personal gain, but it cannot be looked down upon, because we have to understand that was the rubric they came into this life with.

How does this tie in to throwing shit-fits? I had a personal experience a few weeks ago that troubled me until I enveloped it with the wisdom I have inherited passed down in writing from the rishis. I had an incident with my wife in which I was upset because I felt she was dismissing something I was talking about. I confronted her with an emotional verbal tirade about her not listening to me. After we talked about it and both of us were comfortable that we understood what had happened, I jokingly said “Wow I kind of just threw an egocentric shit-fit back there, didn’t I?” She told me not to feel bad about it. I was just expressing my feelings and I wanted to be heard and understood.

And that is what I want to tell everyone. It is not egocentric if you either feel you have something to share or you feel you are not being listened to and want to understand why. You are not being self-centered. What you are more than likely trying to do is cultivate a connection. And that is worth being assertive over. In the title of this post, in place of the word “assertiveness” I almost wrote “confidence.” But confidence was not what my fit was all about. It was not confident at all, though somehow I found the strength to be “assertive”. I wanted to ensure the line of communication was not broken. Being in a wheelchair, assertiveness has always been a keyword for me in my life.

I bring up “confidence” because I also want to point out that there is a difference between confidence and arrogance. Self-assured is not Self-centered. Anyway, This is really kind of free-form, but I am going to throw it out there because I know that it will reach someone who is looking to hear it.

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